Today I arrived at my “people job” with no energy and a sense of desperation for the year to be over. I’ve been carrying my Rider-Waite deck around with me and yesterday I popped it in my silk dragon card pouch for safe keeping and transportation (I have it on good authority that both my deck and my dragons are very happy with this development). I was sitting at my desk looking around at the files that surrounded me and I heard it.
**Pull a card** I hear, whispered in my right ear.
Out came my pouch. I sat my deck in my lap and proceeded to pull out a card.
Nine of Wands.
I’m still getting to know the Rider-Waite deck, so I cheated a little and went over to http://www.biddytarot.com for the meaning. I read the opening line.
“…Even in the face of adversity, you stand tall and strong. You may be on the edge of exhaustion, but you are resilient, persistent, and ready to do what it takes to get to the finish line”.
I read on and was reminded of my strength and to call on those who have my back. It really was very insightful. I’m still learning, and have a long way to go, but this deck… It got me. The thought process that followed was a bit of a rabbit hole. I started to think about the year that is about to draw to a close. We’ve almost made it. We’re at the pointy end of 2018; from what I see and hear all around me, this year has been a challenging year for many people. I know in my case I’ll be reaching the finish line with battle scars and bruises from the year that was. Despite the challenges, the lessons and the difficult times, I know I for one will be moving into the New Year stronger, wiser and with a clearer sense of self than I had when I walked into this year not quite twelve months ago.
It may be a little pre-emptive to reflect on a year that isn’t quite finished yet, but let’s be honest – there are bigger things on the horizon for next year. 2018 has left me feeling exhausted. We’ve had how many retrogrades this year, all at once?! The Blood Moons were awe inspiring. I missed the first one due to being on the opposite end of the Earth. It wasn’t visible from where I am in South Australia (gratitude to NASA for live streaming this cosmic event!). The second Blood Moon – I caught that one! There was something magickal about standing outside with no shoes on in the dirt at 4am, expressing tears of gratitude and offering music with my singing bowl in exchange for the sight that was right before me… In addition to retrogrades and Blood Moons, we have had energetic gateways and portals open and close throughout the year (we are currently going through the 12/12 gateway in the lead up to Summer Solistice AND Full Moon… WOW!). Suffice to say, the cosmic and lunar energy we have experienced this year has provided for many, many lessons and opportunities of learning. We’re almost there…
In addition to the cosmic and lunar energy shifts, we’ve had lessons presented to us in 3D form. I know people, me included, who have loved and lost friends and loved ones. Whether that be through the next stage of life as they pass from this world to the next, or simply the end of a combined journey where paths are split and people move in different directions… The loss this year has been profound; a constant struggle. There were times where I really thought I wasn’t going to make it. Where I thought that I simply could not take anymore. It’s only natural to be fed up with being kicked when you’re down. But you know what? I made it. And I’m stronger for it. And if you’re reading this – then so did you. You made it too. Pat yourself on the back because your success rate of surviving your worst days is 100%. Go you!
Small and personal celebrations aside, it doesn’t take away the pain. The transformation from pain to strength makes it all worth it. A wise Crone once said to me, and I often remind myself of her words, “Everything you are dealing with – you asked for these lessons before you came. It’s in your blueprint. It is not more than you can handle, nor is it less. You’re not being given anything more than you asked for”. This small piece of wisdom has kept me in tact and has helped me fight my way through the lessons. That, and good friends. Your cheer leaders, your comrades and your support crew play a big part. If not for a friendly ear I am sure my Guides would have shaken me by the shoulders more than once.
Not only did I make it, I’ve made it to the end as a new version of me. This year is also cause for celebration (like a pendulum, life swings – you cannot have pure happiness without pain). What I have achieved this year, in amongst the chaos, is mind blowing. I have progressed from a Reiki Practitioner to a Reiki Master. I have uncovered intuitive skills surrounding the ability to read energy. I have learnt how to work with draconian energy. I have met and have very strong bonds with not only my three totem animals, but also the energy of dragons (what beautiful souls they are! Just thinking about working with their energy gets me excited). I am continuing to learn how to fine tune my skills with Oracle card readings. I’ve learnt how to self-meditate. I’ve learnt how to work with crystals on an intuitive level. I’ve birthed a wand for my magick. I’ve reconnected with my Guides on a level that is strong and fierce, where the fires burn. I’ve interpreted card readings for people. And I am going to be conducting card readings going forward. I’ve started exploring the Tarot and I’m learning about it. I’m learning about herbs and how I can use them in my magick. I’ve birthed crystal and essential oil elixirs. I’ve learnt a lot. There is so much to celebrate.
But mostly, I’ve discovered who I am and am learning what all of that means.
I am a Witch. And next year I’ll embrace that with a bang.